Diving in

We are really just at the beginning of this journey, and right now I (this is Peter) feel completely inadequate. At first I was consumed with the whole adoption process, everything before we bring Hannah home. This week we have been slammed with forms to fill out, checklists to fill out of all the forms to fill out, information to read, documents to get, things to do, enough to have my head spinning. I've been through 4 non-immigration visa's, 1 immigration visa, the green card process and the US citizenship process. Paper work does not scare me, but this is ridiculous. What has me feeling inadequate however is being a father to Hannah. Kris mentioned the training we went through last week. Some of this training really should be made available to everyone before they become a parent. It was some really great stuff. But then there was more education on issues that are specific to adoption and adopting a child internationally. Some of this I had thought of, but I am not sure I fully grasped the enormity of it all until we went through the training.
 Things like the medical issues that can come up through adopting a child from an institution, potential issues with not knowing the child's background prior to birth or after birth, to dealing with other people's response to you being an interracial  family. These are heavy topics, and it had me asking myself am I ready for this? The answer I found, is with God's grace I am.
 Two things hit me as I asked myself am I ready. Firstly, their are orphans out there who need families. The training showed me what an impact having a family can do for a child. I know their are good institutions out there that are providing for these kids, but the fact is, and studies have proven this, that an institution can not replace loving parents. Hannah needs a Mom and Dad, and we want to be her Mom and Dad. This is why we are doing this. Plain and simple.
 The second thing that hit me is that God's grace is all sufficient. He is asking us are we willing to open our home to Hannah, and He will helps us with everything we need, to do that. I am not talking about just bringing her home. I am talking about raising her, loving her. Being her family. Am I the perfect father? Far from it. But if I can learn to rely on the perfect Father (and this goes for being Hannah's dad as well as the 3 beautiful kids God has given us already), then I can be the best Dad for all of them that I can be. I think this is what God is trying to teach me through all this. Relying on Him. I am not able, but He is. It's terrifying and beautiful at the same time. Terrifying because I am way out of my depth. Beautiful, because its not my depth I have to worry about. God's grace is all sufficient. I know it, now to walk in it.