I (Kris) do enjoy a check off list. :-) This week has been very nice to be able to check off more paper work criteria. Yippe! Here is what we need in order to finish our Homestudy :
Two more interviews with our Social Worker - one is already scheduled!
We need to finish our physical exams
IRS 1040
Financial statement
It's coming, it's coming!!
I wont bring up what we need for our Dossier at this time. We are still working on that. It is taking shape and I keep trying to figure out a new filing system with more and more papers being done and the need for copies everywhere. Now - I'm understanding the name "paper chase" for this process.
Friday, April 20, 2012
Friday, April 13, 2012
Living Sacrifice?
I go to a Mens group every Friday morning (this is obviously Peter lol), and it has been extremely helpful to me as we have continued through this process. To be honest, the past few weeks I have still been nervous about proceeding down this adoption path, and as such have been stalling making progress in some of our steps (scheduling appointments, filling out paperwork etc). This week was the final week of our current study and there was a line that I think is a quote from A.W. Tozer that just spoke right to me. It was "the difficulty with a living sacrifice is that it keeps crawling off the alter". It made me laugh, and then nearly cry. You see, I was crawling off the alter, or at least thinking there has to be a better place to be and I didn't really realize it.
What is more frustrating that when we finally humble ourselves to God and say, "Your way, not mine", the next day we have to do it all over again. I used to joke that I would like to be martyred. I am not trying to belittle martyrdom, not in the least, but there is something about being able to lay your life down once, and then not having to worry about it again.
These last few weeks I have disappointed myself as I have been fighting (internally) what we should be doing. It's not fun for me, not fun for my family, and well, its not helping us get Hannah any sooner either, so I made a commitment to get out of the funk and go full court press in getting things done. What's amazing is since then, a few other road blocks have just moved. We need a notary for just about everything and anything, and someone from Eastwood bank who is a notary has said she is willing to come to the Doctors office to notorize documents there for us. Kris had tried to get an appointment as was told the soonest available was 2 and 1/2 months away. She has one for next week now thanks to our amazing PA (wish she was a doctor who could sign it) who also got the kids tested for TB today, yet another thing we need completed. Suddenly we are making real progress and I find myself scared again, ready to crawl off the alter, but this time I am noticing I feel that way, and am finding it easier to say no, this is where I want to be, need to be, and the only place that actually works, so I am trying to stay on the alter, keep God at the center of my life, and trusting that as I put my life in His hands he will take care of me. Its scary, but I am trying to think of it this way. What would life be away from the alter? The grass isn't greener on the other side. In fact, I don't even think there is grass over there. So I am staying put, and pressing on, knowing that in the end, God is in control, and I need to trust Him. Realistically, its hardly a sacrifice. Giving up a little, to gain life. Life to the full. Thanks for praying for us. It really helps us stay on task through this long, beautiful journey.
This song represents my last few weeks so well, particularly the ending. It kills me that they end with "where You go we will follow..... sometimes", but fact is, its true, that living sacrifice keeps crawling off the alter. Pray that we will be able to daily live it out, for Hannah, and for the kids God has already blessed us with, Eli, Joey and Sam. Love those little munchkins, and want more than anything to see them in God's Kingdom.
What is more frustrating that when we finally humble ourselves to God and say, "Your way, not mine", the next day we have to do it all over again. I used to joke that I would like to be martyred. I am not trying to belittle martyrdom, not in the least, but there is something about being able to lay your life down once, and then not having to worry about it again.
These last few weeks I have disappointed myself as I have been fighting (internally) what we should be doing. It's not fun for me, not fun for my family, and well, its not helping us get Hannah any sooner either, so I made a commitment to get out of the funk and go full court press in getting things done. What's amazing is since then, a few other road blocks have just moved. We need a notary for just about everything and anything, and someone from Eastwood bank who is a notary has said she is willing to come to the Doctors office to notorize documents there for us. Kris had tried to get an appointment as was told the soonest available was 2 and 1/2 months away. She has one for next week now thanks to our amazing PA (wish she was a doctor who could sign it) who also got the kids tested for TB today, yet another thing we need completed. Suddenly we are making real progress and I find myself scared again, ready to crawl off the alter, but this time I am noticing I feel that way, and am finding it easier to say no, this is where I want to be, need to be, and the only place that actually works, so I am trying to stay on the alter, keep God at the center of my life, and trusting that as I put my life in His hands he will take care of me. Its scary, but I am trying to think of it this way. What would life be away from the alter? The grass isn't greener on the other side. In fact, I don't even think there is grass over there. So I am staying put, and pressing on, knowing that in the end, God is in control, and I need to trust Him. Realistically, its hardly a sacrifice. Giving up a little, to gain life. Life to the full. Thanks for praying for us. It really helps us stay on task through this long, beautiful journey.
This song represents my last few weeks so well, particularly the ending. It kills me that they end with "where You go we will follow..... sometimes", but fact is, its true, that living sacrifice keeps crawling off the alter. Pray that we will be able to daily live it out, for Hannah, and for the kids God has already blessed us with, Eli, Joey and Sam. Love those little munchkins, and want more than anything to see them in God's Kingdom.
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