What to do with time?

It's been about a year when we sent our adoption application papers to our agency. Even though we have not finished all our paperwork yet - there has not been one day that doesn't pass by that I have not thought about Hannah. I find myself getting anxious and a little annoyed that we are still waiting for our side of the papers to be finished. Over and over I try to tell myself to calm down... everything is fine and everything is in process and I just have to wait for the right timing of things.
You see, I have this crazy problem that I keep thinking I have four children right now. Oh I know when we do the head count there are only three... but I just keep thinking there is one more child to put a jacket on and shoes. One more bowl for breakfast cereal. In fact I was taking out the Christmas decorations and I kept looking for another stocking, not really thinking who's stocking I was looking for but I was getting upset that I couldn't find it. I then read all the names on the stockings and realized they were all counted for. One thing that did help me was that last year I did keep an extra ornament for Hannah and even put her name and date on it. Not knowing or remembering I did that a year around finally made sense in my heart.
These thoughts might be considered crazy or private but this Momma wants her child to know that even if I can't hold her close to me now she is in my thoughts everyday and she is in my heart always just like the rest of my children.
Oh I know I know --- there is still a very long way to go but - honestly with all the birthday celebrations in November and the holidays begging for family times I can't help but yearn for the one that is not here.
Thanksgiving will be held at our house this year and believe me... with our house packed with relatives ~ I will still be thinking of her wondering if she can feel my love and Joy for her.
I'll share some birthday party fun we have been having this month...

This is Sam turning 2 years old!

This is Eli getting ready for his party to start   - the big 5 year old!

Peter's birthday dinner - turning 35!

Joey blowing out his candles at his party - turning 4 years old.

Fingerprinting

We just finished our fingerprinting for another form. This is a very slow process but we at least want our papers ready to send off when we get the "go" from the government. We might have some more signatures and checks that we have to track down for some forms. but all in all - every time we something completed (even though we know we will more likely have to do it again before we see our daughter) we always feel like celebrating. But - today we are just happy that the process is still moving forward and that we have at least one next step done. 
Life is still moving fast in our house even while we are waiting. Eli is off at Preschool at the moment at the Fire-station. If anyone knows our boys they know that this is a VERY big deal. Joey is hanging out with me while I try to write this. Sam is thankfully taking her nap right now. Oh and Peter is busy at work and enjoying his new position as a manager. We are also going to be going to Pete's side of the family for Christmas and New Years. We are very excited to see are far away family. Some that we haven't even met yet!
Our apologizes for not keeping this blog up to date like we wanted to - but I'm afraid if we did you would be so sick and tired of hearing about our waiting.
Thanks for checking in on us.
Holding on tighter than ever,
Foleys

The theif of fear

What do you do when things get stressful and out of hand? I know that life can be and is messy at times. I just never thought it was going to be me throwing the idea around of stopping the adoption process at a time or two. yuck - I don't even like to admit that. It always seems to circle around money. Pete and I mailed off our application for a government form that cost around $800 (that was a difficult check to write.) and then within that week we had an unexpected car failure. The cost on the car's "needs" just kept climbing up and up. So we ending with a $800(+) bill on our 1995 Oldsmobile. Our fears know where to hurt us... in our pocket book. The funny thing is - if the car problem happened first we might have chosen to wait even more on the adoption process. But - while we were dealing with our crazy thoughts of mini panic all the while the government is setting up our date for our biometrics. We just found out that November 13th is our appointment for fingerprinting.
Every time I think this is an impossible task in front of us - we are hugely blessed to see that things are still moving forward to bring Hannah home. Our second son, Joey, prays for Hannah every time we eat a meal together. Through his faith that Hannah is coming and his prayer for her saftey, we too are again amazed to see that this process is something larger than our " little money book" and our fears.
Once we get our fingerprints we will waiting for our approval and then the "okay" to send in our dossier to Ethiopia. Then the paper work is out of our hands and we wait for a referral from Ethiopia.
My learning process during this time is how to deal with fear and thoughts that are stealing the Joy in this whole adoption process.
Pete and I took the boys to a concert maybe a month ago, the singer was Jason Gray. The boys have been so excited to see him and sing along. There was a song that has stuck with me for awhile after the concert. It's called "There's no thief like fear". It took me awhile to really understand the concept - well, until I finally saw the effects in my own life. Here is the song to ponder about.