Good with the Difficult

We have some good news to tell.
We are hoping to send off our Dossier papers next week to Ethiopia! We are only waiting on two more forms to come back to us. (hopefully this week.)
Now the difficult news... we have just learned that the waiting time for a referral has increased from 18 to 24 months to 24-30 months.
All in all we know that God's timing is perfect and only His ways are right. We continue to trust Him in this and we are not stopping unless He tells us to.
So please - continue to pray not only for us but for the the children that need to be adopted and that their paperwork would be in the hands of the right people that would process with grace and speed in Ethiopia.
We have heard it said many times by other adopted parents ... adoption is expecting the unexpected.

What to do with time?

It's been about a year when we sent our adoption application papers to our agency. Even though we have not finished all our paperwork yet - there has not been one day that doesn't pass by that I have not thought about Hannah. I find myself getting anxious and a little annoyed that we are still waiting for our side of the papers to be finished. Over and over I try to tell myself to calm down... everything is fine and everything is in process and I just have to wait for the right timing of things.
You see, I have this crazy problem that I keep thinking I have four children right now. Oh I know when we do the head count there are only three... but I just keep thinking there is one more child to put a jacket on and shoes. One more bowl for breakfast cereal. In fact I was taking out the Christmas decorations and I kept looking for another stocking, not really thinking who's stocking I was looking for but I was getting upset that I couldn't find it. I then read all the names on the stockings and realized they were all counted for. One thing that did help me was that last year I did keep an extra ornament for Hannah and even put her name and date on it. Not knowing or remembering I did that a year around finally made sense in my heart.
These thoughts might be considered crazy or private but this Momma wants her child to know that even if I can't hold her close to me now she is in my thoughts everyday and she is in my heart always just like the rest of my children.
Oh I know I know --- there is still a very long way to go but - honestly with all the birthday celebrations in November and the holidays begging for family times I can't help but yearn for the one that is not here.
Thanksgiving will be held at our house this year and believe me... with our house packed with relatives ~ I will still be thinking of her wondering if she can feel my love and Joy for her.
I'll share some birthday party fun we have been having this month...

This is Sam turning 2 years old!

This is Eli getting ready for his party to start   - the big 5 year old!

Peter's birthday dinner - turning 35!

Joey blowing out his candles at his party - turning 4 years old.

Fingerprinting

We just finished our fingerprinting for another form. This is a very slow process but we at least want our papers ready to send off when we get the "go" from the government. We might have some more signatures and checks that we have to track down for some forms. but all in all - every time we something completed (even though we know we will more likely have to do it again before we see our daughter) we always feel like celebrating. But - today we are just happy that the process is still moving forward and that we have at least one next step done. 
Life is still moving fast in our house even while we are waiting. Eli is off at Preschool at the moment at the Fire-station. If anyone knows our boys they know that this is a VERY big deal. Joey is hanging out with me while I try to write this. Sam is thankfully taking her nap right now. Oh and Peter is busy at work and enjoying his new position as a manager. We are also going to be going to Pete's side of the family for Christmas and New Years. We are very excited to see are far away family. Some that we haven't even met yet!
Our apologizes for not keeping this blog up to date like we wanted to - but I'm afraid if we did you would be so sick and tired of hearing about our waiting.
Thanks for checking in on us.
Holding on tighter than ever,
Foleys

The theif of fear

What do you do when things get stressful and out of hand? I know that life can be and is messy at times. I just never thought it was going to be me throwing the idea around of stopping the adoption process at a time or two. yuck - I don't even like to admit that. It always seems to circle around money. Pete and I mailed off our application for a government form that cost around $800 (that was a difficult check to write.) and then within that week we had an unexpected car failure. The cost on the car's "needs" just kept climbing up and up. So we ending with a $800(+) bill on our 1995 Oldsmobile. Our fears know where to hurt us... in our pocket book. The funny thing is - if the car problem happened first we might have chosen to wait even more on the adoption process. But - while we were dealing with our crazy thoughts of mini panic all the while the government is setting up our date for our biometrics. We just found out that November 13th is our appointment for fingerprinting.
Every time I think this is an impossible task in front of us - we are hugely blessed to see that things are still moving forward to bring Hannah home. Our second son, Joey, prays for Hannah every time we eat a meal together. Through his faith that Hannah is coming and his prayer for her saftey, we too are again amazed to see that this process is something larger than our " little money book" and our fears.
Once we get our fingerprints we will waiting for our approval and then the "okay" to send in our dossier to Ethiopia. Then the paper work is out of our hands and we wait for a referral from Ethiopia.
My learning process during this time is how to deal with fear and thoughts that are stealing the Joy in this whole adoption process.
Pete and I took the boys to a concert maybe a month ago, the singer was Jason Gray. The boys have been so excited to see him and sing along. There was a song that has stuck with me for awhile after the concert. It's called "There's no thief like fear". It took me awhile to really understand the concept - well, until I finally saw the effects in my own life. Here is the song to ponder about.

 

Catching up

Whoa ... it's been a long time and a lot has been happening.
 First off I just want to share that we were not trying to neglect the blog posting we have been debating what to write on it.
June was a very difficult time for us and yet a very purposeful time. I (Kris) ended up with a herniated disc almost right after the last post. We were going on a much needed vacation but ended up with a trip into the ER and staying at home for the week. While we were sad about losing our vacation time we ended up really enjoying our family time together for week without Pete working. Eli went to Vacation Bible School (which he thought was awesome!) and life just became a lot slower around here. Pete took care of the house, meals, kids and me. What a man! We also canceled our last visit with our Social worker during that time.
Now - Let me help you catch up to today.
We rescheduled our last visit with out Social Worker to check out our house in August (5th). We had all our papers ready for her and it went well except for a few more papers that need to be gone over. Those papers are being chased down at this very moment. I even had one lady say to me "It's great that you are still wanting to go through the adoption with all this extra work." I have been thinking about that lately and all I can think about it that it's my daughter waiting for us. I can't stop now. There is a real person in Ethiopia that needs us to come and bring her home. Don't get me wrong ... there have been times that I have questioned if we should continue down this very difficult road because of the stress. Wait - what!? Stress... believe me - I have been through stressful times before (all of my childbirths) this - is stressful but not anywhere near what has happened before. This stress is not so much inward but outward stress. People looking at our family, house and everything in between. If you are a very private person - I'm sure this would set you off a bit. Even through this process Pete and I are learning how we each handle things differently. We are learning that we do things differently ... it's not wrong of the other person, just different. (even if it makes no sense to us).
So - with this very quick update... (I'm sure I forgot somethings) our next step is to "ok" the rest of our Homestudy papers and then ... work out our USCIS fingerprinting and finishing our Dossier.  I'm sure you wont miss a thing. We'll try to be better at tracking the process of this journey.

Here is our family at the County Fair this year - the favorite activity for the kids were the big tractors. Here's a little clip of Sam getting her groove on. ;)


Here's a song I heard while working that sums up my heart in this process... no other place I wanna be.

Pain Produces Perseverance?

Now this is ironic!
Peter went away on a 15 mile hiking trip and I end up being laid up with a bum leg.
A little over three weeks I have been fighting a bad back and then now it's moved into my left leg. I enjoy getting things done. I don't care what it is - I like to see something get done. Not being able to move reminds me of my first c-section with Eli. Now that was a shock for me. My mom and Peter were doing everything around the house and I had to be confined to my room. Needless to say I am not a pleasant patient. I really don't feel comfortable with people cleaning up after me or doing things I need to be doing. Now it's happening again and I got to figure out a better attitude.
While yelling out to the Facebook world at how upset I was getting, a friend from church (Tiffany) wrote about how she is memorizing the book of James. I thought I would give it a look over.
Yikes!! Remaining Faithful during trails and counting them as gifts? Seriously, I am/was doing everything wrong and backwards. Here let me write a little down from The Message.
 "Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides (what?). You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors (oh this doesn't look pretty). So don't try to get out of anything prematurely (feeling the pain?). Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way (so, there's a point to our difficulties).
If you don't know what you are doing (yeah that's me), pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it."
Even though I really don't like to ask for help or how to ask for it, I can't tell you how these words warmed my heart knowing that God wants to help me. When I was in SO much pain last week my mind was not in a good place. I was thinking on things that weren't answers to my problem, but simply would have made it a lot more difficult with our circumstances.
The 28th - was memorial day and we were all wearing the same shirts and our family celebrated my Niece's 3rd birthday. All the cousin's were playing together, I had this welling up feeling coming out of my heart at how special it was to watch the whole family just be together. I stepped closer to Pete and gave him a side hug. (Something that we just were not doing, showing affection for one another) -
On our way home Peter mentioned to me that we didn't need to "get on the same page" with each other, we just needed to all were the same shirt. Funny guy.

                                                      Our Memorial Day celebration.
Oh and here is some family fun we had on the holiday weekend, until the slip and slide broke that day. :-) Hope you enjoy it as much as I did at watching it. Hee hee.

                              Oh man that was funny. Here is a picture to capture the best part!
                           It feels so good to be able to laugh again and enjoy the faces around me.
                                                  (even if they are planted into the ground)

Singing Along

So if you have been following along with our journey, you would know there have been some ups and downs already, with the last 2 weeks being a pretty big down, but even through that, there have been some moments when the light just breaks through, and we have been able to bask in the light and enjoy it. That is what I think I want to share with you this week, because, quite frankly, this is just something I need to remember as well.
 2 weeks ago on Sunday we were driving home from our meeting with the social worker. A 2 hour meeting had gone for 5 hours, and felt beaten up, worn down, and very very tired. We were wondering were we doing the right thing, were we ready for this? We had grabbed Steven Curtis Chapman's CD recreation to listen to on the ride up and it was still playing in the car as we traveled home, but only in the background. I can't remember if I clicked to the song or if it just happened to come up, but the song "long way home" was playing. The first few lines really some up how we were feeling.
 I set out on a great adventure, the day my Father started leading me home
 He said there's gonna be some mountains to climb and some valley's were gonna go through.
 But I had no way of knowing, just how hard this journey would be
 'Cause the mountains are steeper and the Valleys are deeper than I ever would have dreamed.

This song has been so special to us along this journey, and no moment more than as we were heading home, feeling like we were in a valley. The specific moment though I want to share is this, and it's a beautiful example of why I love my wife and why I am so happy to be with her. We were wiped. Emotionally drained, and then as I turned up the music to listen to the song, we both busted out in unison singing the song with everything we had, desperately hoping to believe exactly what we were singing would be true (that we will make it). After the song finished, I hit back and we did it all over again. It was raw (voices weren't exactly hitting all the notes) but it was truly from the heart, and lifted our spirits, even if only for a short time. I wish I could say then it was all fine and dandy after that, but it hasn't been, but we know one thing, we need to keep going on, its just a long way home. It is so true, and we need to keep standing on that.
 I have the song below, and if you are going through a tough time right now, I encourage you to listen to the song. "I know we're gonna make it. I know we're gonna get there soon. And I know, sometimes it feels like we're going the wrong way. but it's just a long way home", and home truly is a beautiful place. Belt it out with everything you have. It's freeing.

Are we really like that?

Well, we met with our social worker this past Sunday. Afterwards we both felt pushed to the ground. Our social worker is a wonderful lady and very helpful and practical and willing to speak her mind. Which we do appreciate. I (Kris) guess we have never thought about what our family looks like from the outside. I have to admit when she retold me, my story, I felt like saying "these people are crazy to be adding to their family".
Yes, we have been married for 6 years and have had three children close together. Yes, we don't earn a ton of money. But - I know that our marriage had been through tough issues and has still come out on top. (Thanks to God!) and I know the money we make pays for our bills and we even do have a little left over for giving to others. (That's because God is always providing for us.)
We were told to think about postponing our adoption until we are in our 40's and starting another family. I'm sure that works for people - but - we want our kids to grow up together around the same stages in life. Maybe I'm too selfish and I want them to be close so they can share the same interests and stages in life because it's easier for me. I don't want to put this off. I don't want to wait until I have to choose between "buying a boat" or adopting a child. Haven't people all around us been telling us that adopting is hard. What better of time to do it when we are younger and have kids that will welcome her with open arms and hearts.
So after having my world of Hannah shaken and stirred. Feeling like I have to "let her go" ~ Peter reminded me that there is still a little girl waiting for us to bring her home and we have to trust God's leading, push through the doubts, keep going and not give up.

Even though this is an upbeat song ... I'm not quite "up" there yet. But it's a very hopeful song. ~ Enjoy

check, check

I (Kris) do enjoy a check off list. :-) This week has been very nice to be able to check off more paper work criteria. Yippe! Here is what we need in order to finish our Homestudy :

Two more interviews with our Social Worker - one is already scheduled!
We need to finish our physical exams
IRS 1040
Financial statement

It's coming, it's coming!!

I wont bring up what we need for our Dossier at this time. We are still working on that. It is taking shape and I keep trying to figure out a new filing system with more and more papers being done and the need for copies everywhere. Now - I'm understanding the name "paper chase" for this process.

Living Sacrifice?

I go to a Mens group every Friday morning (this is obviously Peter lol), and it has been extremely helpful to me as we have continued through this process. To be honest, the past few weeks I have still been nervous about proceeding down this adoption path, and as such have been stalling making progress in some of our steps (scheduling appointments, filling out paperwork etc). This week was the final week of our current study and there was a line that I think is a quote from A.W. Tozer that just spoke right to me. It was "the difficulty with a living sacrifice is that it keeps crawling off the alter". It made me laugh, and then nearly cry. You see, I was crawling off the alter, or at least thinking there has to be a better place to be and I didn't really realize it.
 What is more frustrating that when we finally humble ourselves to God and say, "Your way, not mine", the next day we have to do it all over again. I used to joke that I would like to be martyred. I am not trying to belittle martyrdom, not in the least, but there is something about being able to lay your life down once, and then not having to worry about it again.
  These last few weeks I have disappointed myself as I have been fighting (internally) what we should be doing. It's not fun for me, not fun for my family, and well, its not helping us get Hannah any sooner either, so I made a commitment to get out of the funk and go full court press in getting things done. What's amazing is since then, a few other road blocks have just moved. We need a notary for just about everything and anything, and someone from Eastwood bank who is a notary has said she is willing to come to the Doctors office to notorize documents there for us. Kris had tried to get an appointment as was told the soonest available was 2 and 1/2 months away. She has one for next week now thanks to our amazing PA (wish she was a doctor who could sign it) who also got the kids tested for TB today, yet another thing we need completed. Suddenly we are making real progress and I find myself scared again, ready to crawl off the alter, but this time I am noticing I feel that way, and am finding it easier to say no, this is where I want to be, need to be, and the only place that actually works, so I am trying to stay on the alter, keep God at the center of my life, and trusting that as I put my life in His hands he will take care of me. Its scary, but I am trying to think of it this way. What would life be away from the alter? The grass isn't greener on the other side. In fact, I don't even think there is grass over there. So I am staying put, and pressing on, knowing that in the end, God is in control, and I need to trust Him. Realistically, its hardly a sacrifice. Giving up a little, to gain life. Life to the full. Thanks for praying for us. It really helps us stay on task through this long, beautiful journey.

This song represents my last few weeks so well, particularly the ending. It kills me that they end with "where You go we will follow..... sometimes", but fact is, its true, that living sacrifice keeps crawling off the alter. Pray that we will be able to daily live it out, for Hannah, and for the kids God has already blessed us with, Eli, Joey and Sam. Love those little munchkins, and want more than anything to see them in God's Kingdom.

Rough week, strong kids

This week has been nothing short of an up hill climb for all of us. The end of March means busy times for Pete at work with the quarter closing. All the kids got sick within days of each other with high fevers, coughing. achy bodies, up during the night and running noses. (not to mention constant rocking times with each one or more) With all that mixed together, this is household of very exhausted and cranky parents.
I'm reminded of a marriage class we took after we had Joey. We met with our pastor after church one day and he mentioned to us that we were in survival mode. It was kinda like we were on an airplane that needed oxygen masks and there was only one available for the two of us and we kept fighting over the "mask" in order to breathe. Meaning, we kept fighting over who needs to take a break more than the other person. The weak trying to help the weak wasn't getting us very far. I'm grateful that the "old" pattern didn't last very long this time around.
Peter caught on fast to what was happening to us and instead of arguing and complaining suggested we ask God's help to change our attitudes. I wasn't quite willing to stop my "fighting" side and at the dinner table one night - while crabbing about something, Eli spoke up and said "Ma, God doesn't like it that you talk that way - Satan, get away."  Ouch but that's what I needed to hear. I went from yelling to crying in less than a second. I apologized for my bad attitude and asked God to change me. The week has still been difficult but my heart isn't so hardened toward my family anymore and that's a miracle in itself.
I wanted to put a video up of the boys "playing" one of their favorite songs from The David Crowder Band called "Let me feel You shine" but our camera isn't working. bummer. So, of course with Eli's strong encouragement I'll post the song for you. It's truly amazing how much your kids teach you as parents.

What can I say we are a musical family. :)
Through all the chaos of this week, we did have some good news  - We have one more Aussie in the family! It's true Samantha is now dual citizenship. Our Oz family will be tickled with the news. :)

Am I ready?

I have found myself (this is Peter), thinking a lot lately of all the things I can't do now because we are adopting. I know this is wrong, stupid even, and I know that I would actually rather adopt than any of these other things (usually superficial things), but that has been where my mind has wondered. We recently discovered that the road to get Hannah is going to be longer than expected, then told we should expect more obstacles and changes along the way. It just comes with the package deal of international adoption. I have started to consider am I able to do this. Not just the journey that comes with bringing Hannah home, but then, having another child, an adopted child from another culture, in our home. Am I ready?
  I am going through a study by James MacDonald  called "When life is hard". Last week he was talking about when trials come, our natural tendency is to move out of the way. Kind of like I have been thinking. We could just bail out on this, and things would seem so much easier, but then, is that the purpose of life? To be easier, to just get by. Part of me says I wish it was. But another part of my thinks of everything that is great in my life. Any great accomplishment. Was it easy? Of course not. That's what makes it great. Because it wasn't easy. Think about a marathon. Some of them even finish where they started. So you run for 26 miles only to end up 100 yards away. What's the point? It's hard. That's the point. That's why we do it. Deep down we know the reward is there when we can persevere through something, and the closer we got to bailing out, the more fulfillment we get when we push through that pain barrier and get there. I feel out of my depth doing this adoption. I feel like it stretches me to a point that I am not comfortable with. I am scared of what all could happen yet along this journey. What if there are issues with the paper work? What if we get to Ethiopia and they don't let us take Hannah home? What if this takes way longer than I expect? Can I deal with this roller-coaster of emotions? What if someone makes a racist remark to Hannah? Can I handle this? So many questions. There is one question I ask myself that always helps me keep going. Who is going to open their home to Hannah? God is asking us to do this. There is nothing else for us to do but keep going, because there is a little girl out there that needs a family. Our family. In working through all the ups and downs, its going to be all the more joyous to bring Hannah home.
 So back to the question am I ready? Truth is no. But truth is also that I know with God's help I will be, so we will keep going down this road. Getting our home ready for child no. 4. We are coming for you Hannah, and we can't wait to bring you home.

Friendships

Nicole, Karen, Missy, Vicky and Ethan, Me, Suzanne, Brandie, Heather and Josiah

Missing from the photo - Ruth, Faith, Anne, Stephanie, Karees and Jaime

 These Gals have been a huge help to me and my family during this adoption process. Most of them have been there from the very beginning and have been praying us through the process. This amazing group meets once a week at a coffee shop early Saturday mornings for about two hours. We vote on a book together and discuss it every week. We are starting a new book in April called, "You're Already Amazing" by Holley Gerth. (Has anyone read it before?)
This is truly my favorite activity of the week. Right when I walk out of the coffee shop doors I find myself eager to meet with them again for the next week. We all get to share our lives with one another and encourage each other. These women have been helping me to stay strong in my relationship with Christ and relationships around me. We are all learning to live with our whole hearts together.
I'm sharing them with you because I really believe that everyone needs godly, positive friendships in their lives. It really is a miracle when you find friendships that are easy to keep.
So, To my gal friends.... Thank you from the bottom of my heart for allowing me to hear about your lives and for letting me share my life stories with you. The books have been great but I just love to be with you and leave my responsibilities for two hours.
We all have seen God working and changing our lives as we keep on meeting together. (It's Sooo much fun!) We are all different and yet we all want the same thing... to do well in life through Christ. (oh yeah - and we all want to get out of the house a time or two.)


Pete has been pretty busy lately as you can tell he wasn't able to write this past Thursday for us. All you "Peter fans" don't worry he'll be writing for this coming Thursday.

We have contact!

We now have a Family Coordinator and a Social Worker working with us. Oh it feels so good to be at this part. A lot of people call this time paper pregnancy. I (Kris) know about pregnancy and this is much better to go through than dealing with hormonal changes. Really the paperwork isn't that bad. It's understanding it all, that's the trick. But hey - that's why I have Peter. :) Even though he gets frustrated with me because I ask really simple questions he does a great job to make sure we both know what we are filling out. The most challenging issue now is finding the time to sit down to fill the papers out. The weekends work great for that - we'll tackle another chunk of it this weekend while the kids nap.
That's where we are at time point... Filling out our Homestudy, meeting with the Social worker and listening in on conference calls.
 One of the biggest questions people have asked us (and we have to answer this in our Homestudy) is Why overseas? Why Ethiopia? (Now, I'm wondering if you have been thinking those questions too.) Well - I'll do my best to explain.
Why international adoption? - I have always wanted to. When I married Peter and talked to him about it we thought that we would check out other options hear in the States. So I contacted an agency and received form to fill out to request for more information.While I filled out Peter's part I just couldn't fill my part in it. I really can't explain the reasoning but I felt as if my heart was aching inside. I just knew this was not what I was to be doing. I really wrestled with God and myself because I knew God wanted us to adopt but I couldn't feel peace about it. I wanted to do it but something was holding me back.
The main reason why it wasn't to be was because I had little Sam growing inside of me at that time. Yes, God does know everything that's happening. We found out we were pregnant and the adoption was no longer an issue at that point. After Samantha joined our family - the adoption bug hit again. This time I knew it was to be international and I was going to wait for God's leading this time. And look at how far we have come?
Now about Ethiopia ~ I didn't care where we went I just knew some little girl was going to be waiting for us to take her home. Peter on the other hand, had always loved Africa and to tell the truth we just fit all the requirements. A lot of the countries were out of the question because of the requirements that we couldn't meet. So, maybe you could say that Ethiopia chose us.
If anyone has any questions for us please feel free to leave a comment. We appreciate the questions and the support.
I have to share a link that a good friend sent to us on Facebook.

Diving in

We are really just at the beginning of this journey, and right now I (this is Peter) feel completely inadequate. At first I was consumed with the whole adoption process, everything before we bring Hannah home. This week we have been slammed with forms to fill out, checklists to fill out of all the forms to fill out, information to read, documents to get, things to do, enough to have my head spinning. I've been through 4 non-immigration visa's, 1 immigration visa, the green card process and the US citizenship process. Paper work does not scare me, but this is ridiculous. What has me feeling inadequate however is being a father to Hannah. Kris mentioned the training we went through last week. Some of this training really should be made available to everyone before they become a parent. It was some really great stuff. But then there was more education on issues that are specific to adoption and adopting a child internationally. Some of this I had thought of, but I am not sure I fully grasped the enormity of it all until we went through the training.
 Things like the medical issues that can come up through adopting a child from an institution, potential issues with not knowing the child's background prior to birth or after birth, to dealing with other people's response to you being an interracial  family. These are heavy topics, and it had me asking myself am I ready for this? The answer I found, is with God's grace I am.
 Two things hit me as I asked myself am I ready. Firstly, their are orphans out there who need families. The training showed me what an impact having a family can do for a child. I know their are good institutions out there that are providing for these kids, but the fact is, and studies have proven this, that an institution can not replace loving parents. Hannah needs a Mom and Dad, and we want to be her Mom and Dad. This is why we are doing this. Plain and simple.
 The second thing that hit me is that God's grace is all sufficient. He is asking us are we willing to open our home to Hannah, and He will helps us with everything we need, to do that. I am not talking about just bringing her home. I am talking about raising her, loving her. Being her family. Am I the perfect father? Far from it. But if I can learn to rely on the perfect Father (and this goes for being Hannah's dad as well as the 3 beautiful kids God has given us already), then I can be the best Dad for all of them that I can be. I think this is what God is trying to teach me through all this. Relying on Him. I am not able, but He is. It's terrifying and beautiful at the same time. Terrifying because I am way out of my depth. Beautiful, because its not my depth I have to worry about. God's grace is all sufficient. I know it, now to walk in it.

Step by Step

Some very good news to share for this week. I (Kris) didn't think there was anything to write about this week. Boy was I mistaken. First of all, Peter and I started our online training through a company called Hague Treaty on Intercountry Adoption. We started it on Saturday and finished it on Wednesday. (Well, Pete is still going through it - it's harder for him to find the time to work on it. Thanks kids for nap time.) It's 10 hours long and very detailed about all the different parts and processes with adopting internationally. Just for those who are interested in wanting to know what this course deals with here is a little summary :

1) The Intercountry Adoption Process, possible delays and impediments to the finalization of an adoption;
2) General characteristics and needs of children awaiting adoption including information on attachment disorders and other emotional problems that may result in children with multiple caregivers;
3) The impact of institutionalization on a child's physical and emotional growth;
4) The effects of malnutrition, substance abuse, and other known genetic health, emotional and development factors;
5) The laws and adoption processes of the anticipated country of adoption;
6) The impact on a child when leaving familiar ties and surrounds, and the long-term implications for a family when introducing a child from another culture;
7)Reporting requirements associated with Hague Treaty signatory countries, including post-placement and post-adoption reports required by the country of origin;
8) Roles and responsibilities of the adoption agency;
9) Resources;
10)Content mastery check testing that covers the specified topics listed.
------(taken from the certificate that was given to us at the end of the program) ------

Believe me - That was a lot to handle! After completing #6 I had a migraine that lasted the whole day. It really was good and very hard at the same time. It brought up issues that I never thought of before. I had a hard time thinking about how children have to relearn how to live because they are in an institution or orphanage.
I wanted to write all the steps out because I know there are some of you that are thinking or that are planning to adopt. There is so much to learn.
NOW - to some more exciting news... we have our tax money in the bank as of today. Today, today - can you believe it? Here I didn't think I had anything to write about but tonight we are signing our agreement papers and sending our check in the mail. So tomorrow Pete will have the honor of mailing off our next step.
Next we wait to hear from the agency and have a Family Coordinator assigned to us. That means ~ we will be starting our Homestudy. As of today we are two steps closer to meeting Hannah.

Are you as excited as we are? 

He has a plan

This week we were blown away with God's provision. It's funny how when we started out on this journey, I (this is Peter) planned out in my mind how God was going to provide for us. My first thought went to an opportunity I knew about at work, and that one of the ways God would provide would be through me getting that promotion. Well that didn't work, and I was a little down and confused as to how is this all going to work. Well, this week out of the blue, a check came in the mail from someone who felt led to send us the money to help us get Hannah home. It was such a beautiful reminder that God has ways of providing for us that we can not even imagine. It reminded me of a time when I was back in MT with YWAM when God showed just how awesome His provision is.
 I was driving a Discipleship training school team to the airport for an outreach, and passed through a town where the speed limit dropped from 65 to 30. Its was 3am, a town of maybe 2,000, so you know no-one was around... except the local cop, who caught me going 46 in the 30 zone. I was broke, and just didn't know how I was going to pay the fine. Luckily this is MT, and so the fine was only $125 for doing 16 miles over the speed limit, but never the less, I did not have $125.

 When I got home, I checked my mailbox, and actually found a letter (I got one maybe every 4 weeks, but checked it every day. I can't complain, I never wrote to anyone myself). In it was a check for $330 and a note saying "I was just praying to God asking what I should do with this money and felt led to send it to you". It was from a former student. What a perfect picture of God's provision and grace for us. Firstly, this came in the mail the same day I got the fine, so God had prompted someone to give, before I even had the need. Secondly, my need was $125, the check was almost 3 times that. What a perfect example of how God's grace is more than enough!
 Anyway, to make a long story even longer, the provision this week was a perfect reminder to me that God has a way of making things happen that are way beyond what I can think of as possible. I might have it all planned out in my head, but if things don't go the way I have mapped out, it doesn't matter, because God has a way planned, and I need to just trust Him in that. This weeks gift was a perfect reminder that God is watching over us, and He will help us bring Hannah home, in His timing and in His miraculous way. I can't wait to bring you home Hannah, and I can't wait to see how God is going to do it!

Tax time

I'm starting to think this is no longer our story but what we are seeing what God is doing around and in us. Every time that we look at all the details and the sacrifices we have to make in order for the adoption to even begin - well, lets just say it gets overwhelming.
For example, it's tax time and that usually means refunds for us because of our kids. Peter did a rough look over things and wasn't very impressed with what he thought was coming back. That's when a little panic started to set in for us. Peter usually does our taxes but because of the adoption and having to record everything we wanted to make sure we did everything right.
This past Monday we had our taxes done by a wonderful Accountant in town. To our surprise the money coming back to us and the money from my work is the exact amount we need to send off our first bunch of papers and to start our second phase. So many times I get all worked up inside just to see that God had already figured everything out.
So for now - we wait until the tax money comes into our bank account and then we send off our agreement papers, start our online training and wait to hear from the agency for the next "to do list". I wish I could post a picture of us sending off the files but that will come in time. (just like everything else)

 

This is our winter fun while we wait for ...

everything.

A strange feeling

This may be a little difficult to describe, as I  (Peter) don't even really understand it for now, but here goes. Ever since we have decided to adopt, it has felt as though we already have Hannah as a member of our family. Right now she is just in my imagination, and represents some hurdles (paper work and expenses), and blessings, (children are truly a blessing), and yet she seems so real, and already having an impact on our family.
 Coming into Christmas I asked Eli, if he can have anything he wanted, what would it be. He said "Hannah" and my heart just melted. I don't know where it came from as we hadn't been talking about Hannah that day, but it showed the purity of a child, and helped me put into perspective my priorities during the Christmas period.
 Another time I had to take out the car seats of the car, and couldn't help but notice we have one spot, right next to Sam that is looking for another car seat to fill. I can almost see Hannah at these times and yet, I could not describe it to you, apart from letting you know she is very beautiful.

                                            3 car seats with one spot left just asking to be filled!

 I have heard this experience called the "paper pregnancy". I used to think that was lame, but I am starting to understand. Its like God is preparing us (and our kids) for our family to expand. The hard thing for me is fighting the attachment. I have nothing to cling to in terms of an actual child, and yet I find myself wondering, is she born yet? Is her Mom pregnant with her? I rest in the knowledge that God has it all in His plan and that Hannah will come to us in His timing. I can't wait.... but I have to, so right now I will dream of my Hannah, and think of the time I will actually get to hold her. What a great day that will be.

a little random week

  There isn't a day that goes by that we are not thinking about Hannah or her adoption process. We really are tip toeing our way at the start. This past weekend my Mom took the boys over night and while that was happening Pete and I played cards and then put Sam to bed (early). We then took out our first pack of papers that we need to read and sign. It really was a great time to sit and do this together - but we are not able to send in the papers until our taxes come back. We need $1,500 for this paper work and then $200 for an online training session -which takes ten hours to view. So while we wait to do this - I took a picture of most of the countries that America World works through.

The letter on the top in the middle (the one you can't read) is the list of all our paper work we will be needing to get done after we send in the papers we have now. So many people have done this trail before it's nice to know they made it through the other side. We are just about ready to take the first step into the "woods" "bush" whatever you want to call it.
      I have to mention one more thing that happened to us last week. Our church was hosting an evening for couples to learn about "Men are like Waffles and Women are like Spaghetti" with Bill and Pam Farrel. Here is a little clip of their talk (okay it's actually ten minutes but it goes really fast.) :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1-cyNkNoRk

We had a great time there learning a lot and becoming more sensitive with one another and understanding a whole heck more of each other.
But what I want to share was who we met there. Have you ever noticed someone that you think you have met and it drove you crazy until you did something about it?  Across the very very crowded room I saw a couple that I thought I knew. After awhile I realized they were a couple that had just adopted two children from Ukraine. So I have never met them but "felt" like I did. I elbowed Pete and told him about my excitement which he was a little confused of because I never mentioned them before. Peter plowed our way to them and we introduced ourselves to them and talked a bit about adoption. Mike and Melanie are a lovely couple and very kindhearted. We are so glad that we got to met them.
That might not mean a lot to some that are reading this but when you choose adopt you find yourselves in another family group that understands your excitement and fears without having to voice them. It was another reassuring area for us. (plus it was my favorite part of the evening) 
So long, until next Thursday.

Getting the right perspective

So it's my turn to write the blog (this is Peter by the way). For someone who is very opinionated and has a lot to say, I find it hard to believe it has taken me until now to write in a blog, who would have figured huh?
 Back in 2000, I decided I would surrender my life completely to God (this was a long process, but I finally got there in 2000). I had plans for my life, but I decided I would prefer what God had for me instead, and so far, so good. Not that it has all been plain sailing, far from it in fact, but that's part of why I love being fully submitted to Him. Its always stretching and exciting.
  As a result, when we were praying about adopting and I couldn't get past how much this whole thing would cost, and how it was not for us (yet know it was), I found myself excited by the prospect of once again being forced into a place that has me completely relying on God to get by, which is where I love to be. I wish making that decision meant all my days I would be resting in the knowledge that God is in compete control, but I am afraid for me its the opposite... sort of. For me, its as if every step I take, I feel as if the next step will take me over a cliff. Faith for me has not been knowing God will catch me as I step out, but despite being worried I will fall, I step out anyway, because God told me to. He has caught me every time, but the process is not so much fun, and yet seeing God be so faithful, despite my doubts, is the only way I want to live my life. Seeing His faithfulness despite my lack of confidence in His faithfulness is such a beautiful thing. I wrote a song about this once. The last lines kind of sum it up. "Sometimes, I don't know where You are, and when I look to the heavens I only see stars, but I know who You are". The thought of not stepping out is far scarier to me than anything else. I know God, and I know His plans are for good, hence, we have started this adoption process, and I feel ready to fall.

                                       Love makes  you do Crazy things, just ask our boys!

 On Sunday morning before church, Pastor Steve must have sense my fear and he asked me how I was doing. I shared how I have been just getting through each day and was freaking out about the adoption process. I was relying on God to get by, but all I was doing was surviving, no more. He prayed for me quickly, and off we went to worship. I was leading worship and had picked the song Grace like rain. Singing the final verse (from Amazing grace) about being in heaven 10,000 years later, I was struck with how eternal things are really all that matter. I was worried about temporal things, that, when you really look at it, are insignificant. This is when I truly realized that I shouldn't be just getting through each day, but living life to the full. No longer surviving, but thriving. Great to realize, but hard to live out. This was the first service.
  Fast fwd to right before the 3rd service, and I was speaking to someone who has adopted. They happened to mention in front of their now 18 year old son, how they were "pretty glad we did it" with a little wink. It was a little thing, but had me thinking about what I would be thinking about Hannah when she is that age. I am leading worship and singing Grace like rain again, when we hit the final verse again, and the eternal aspect of adopting a child into your family hit me. Mary Beth Chapman calls it, a "forever family". I suddenly had an image of worshiping in heaven with my family with me, Kris, Eli, Joey Sam and Hannah. Talk about a terrible time to be hit with such an image. Here I am leading worship in front of 300 people and I started crying, and you know how your voice doesn't really hold pitch when you cry, yeah that was me. Possibly one of the most beautiful images I have ever seen in worship (not that I could actually see it, if that makes sense), and I was totally overwhelmed by the beauty of it all. I kind of went crazy when we hit the Hallelujah part in the chorus. Kind of happens to me when I am passionate about something. I just have to let it explode out. Just watch some football with me sometime. Sorry about that if it was weird for anyone at church, but, well, I am not really sorry. I was just trying to give God everything I had, which is why I was singing with everything I had, and which is why we are following His call for us to adopt Hannah. Being obedient to Him is not always logical, but it sure is exciting, and fulfilling. Now if I could only work out how to do this without freaking out internally throughout the whole journey. Either way, I know I am going to continue to keep stepping forward in this process, knowing God is with us all the way.

The Help (ers)

  

Last Fall my friend, Suzanne, sent on e-mail out about wanting to see the movie "The Help", on a Friday night. I don't remember the last time I was at a movie theater but I needed to get out of the house and the title sounded like it was what I had to have. I'm not sure I can I enjoyed the movie, based on the issues, but I can say it was very well acted. This entry isn't about the movie topic but what happened after it. Before we left the seated area I noticed my former employers that I haven't seen since having kids.
Ted and Loretta Neher were there celebrating their anniversary and taking a break from their own work. They have always been special to me throughout a portion of my life. They have helped me with work before Youth With a Mission and after. More importantly, they have provided a listening ear, great advise and growth in my relationship with Jesus.
While at the movie theater we tried to catch up on each others lives as fast as we could. Learning very quickly that our "meeting up" might not have been by chance but by the Lord. We might be able to help one another out again. They needed just a little bit of extra hands with the work load and I needed to get out of my house more often for sanity sake also with the intention of saving all the money for the adoption funds.
Now Hannah's bear bank is getting filled with some cash that is purposely meant for getting her home. Without this opportunity with the Nehers we wouldn't have been able to send in our first application fees. It's truly amazing how everything hooked up perfectly and timely.
I wanted to make sure I shared them in this journey because they have been a big part of it already. It takes a lot of people and prayers to come together for getting Hannah home.
Thank you, Ted and Loretta for believing in us and wanting orphan's to find a forever home. Your work has touched so many lives in too many way to even count. I hope you are able to see the difference you are truly making in other peoples lives just because you have opened your door to others. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! I can't wait until the day you get to see Hannah for the first time.

Oh and Thank you for humoring me by letting me take your pictures. :)

Join the Ride.

    I don't really understand blogging or how to write on it. I have a really annoying habit to write in third person when I want to get a story out. If I use this as a journal then it ends up being prayers not really meant for others to see. Hmm, so please bear with me as I figure this out over time.
   I really want to put a face to Hannah like an ultrasound photo of course I don't have one and she may not even be born yet. It's a very weird feeling to feel pregnant with thoughts of a little girl. Some days I think I can smell her or feel her soft check on my face. That's how much my heart is being pulled to do this process. Peter thinks I'm crazy when I talk like that - but I'm really not trying to make anyone feel uncomfortable -I think it's just a way that God is using to keep me from over thinking about it and pulling out.
  I want something physical to remind me of her - I went out and bought Hannah a piggy bank. I'll try to put a picture of it sometime. Each one of our kids has their own bank that they put coins or birthday money in. Eli has a Noah's Ark from Uncle Chris and Aunt Kirri, Joey has a white piggy bank from ... well, the bank gave it to him when he was born (maybe because we had to take a loan out from his birth), Sam has an elephant that Peter picked out for her and Hannah's is a yellow bear that plays the song "It's a small world" when money goes into it.
Since I don't have a photo of her I'll put up our family photo we sent in to with our application.

oh - wow - I can't believe we got into the program with this quick shot of us. Maybe it's because of Pete's shirt. It's true he is a great dad. :-) We mailed this photo the same day we took it. Do you know how difficult it is to take a picture with kids and trying to get everyone looking at the camera? A memory in the making, I guess.
Here is a picture of the banks I was talking about.

I think Hannah's is so big because she costs so much more. :) Every time we get overwhelmed by the costs - we are reminded that "It is a small world after all".